Weekend from Borat!

Jak sie masz!

I recent got invite for big wedding party in cabin in the woods. It was from my friend George Michael. I thought, maybe I can find Pamela and make her my wife.. so I went.

When I came to party I found that I was not only celebrity invited. Mr President George Bush and Lucky Luke was there and also Puff Daddy with many prostitute laidies like Spice Girls and Tatu. Tatu liked to make tounge meet on each other. I liked too. I got a little.. how you say.. erect in pant area. I thing they we're both tight like little boy anus. Wow wow wee waa! When I was planning to go over to them and ask for a three-some with both of them or atleast with me and my pet goat, I saw her.

Pamela.
My dream.
My woman.
My wife to be, and giver of strong manly child with much hair on chest like Borat.

But there was problem. When I go up to Pamela, a little tiny man by name Mitch came between and he say that Pamela was his lady. I explain to him that I am in love and I wanted her to be Mrs. Sagdiyev. He had tiny red short, and looked like a homosexual. He said he was, I do not remember all, but something like Gaywatch. Anyway I could not get to Pamela when Mitch was near so I had to wait to make my move. When he left I walk up to Pamela and introduce myself. She did not like. She did not wan't to be my wife. I was a little sad, but I did not give up.

At dinner I sat next to Puff Diddy and Buffy the Vampire Killer. She was nice to look at, he was not so nice because he was man with chocolate face and hard to see in the dim light. Not nice. It was hard to understand him, he spoke a weird language with many "-izle" and "-sho" and he talked about a place called The Hood where all black people come from. I wonder where that place is, maybe I can go there and teach them disco dancing and how to talk to ladies. Anyway right infront of me was Pamela. She was looking as good as in the magazine that I got, and I could picture her running on the beach in slow motion. Is nice. Her bosom was same size as on TV, like humps of big camel. I again asked her to be my wife and she said "Maybe after a couple of beers". That was good answer for me and I bought her more beer.

During dinner it was many speech. Captain Jack Swallow (or some bird) was toast master. Lucky Luke made small speech about not like gay man. I like his speech. I do not like gay. Puff Diddy did not like gay either. Even though he said I should see him "Doin' his thang." That is strange because I did not want to see him do his "thang". He said it was a metaphore. I do not know that word but I lied so he would be quiet. Mr President Bush also had speech about War of Terror.

After dinner it was time for disco dancing. I like! Many woman wanted to dance with me, but when I asked how much for hand and mouth they left. One of the Playboy bunnies touched me on buttocks. I like a lot! Also Tatu twins kiss me on cheeks of face. I changed underpants.

After disco dance I was tired and it was time to find Pamela for last try. It did not work. Mitch from Gaywatch was ... how you say... cock blocking me. Not nice. I went to sleep and talked to Sporty Spice about life and wondered why they let the girls in on party if they did not accept money for sexy time. Other Spice Girls were whores. They dance like if man was a pole on strip bar. No man complain, but it was confusing when they did not make sex with anyone. Women should be only brought inside house for mating. They talk too much. Tired of talk I slept.

I woke up and felt like my head was being run over by 40 donkeys and then have my nose in Azamat Bagatov's anus.

Chen qui!